Billy Bob Speaks!

BILLY BOB’S

TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

On the first day of Christmas, Martha gave to me, a quilt for the bed just for me.

            Well, at least she SAYS I’m gonna get it for Christmas, but then, I’ve heard that before.  I know I’ll love it when I get it!

On the second day of Christmas, Martha gave to me, a little brother just like me!

            Well! I never!!  My mother never had any kittens that looked like him!  He’s black and white! HER kittens were all tiger kitties, just like me!! Brother, my foot. Oh, well, I guess, to keep her happy, I’ll let him live here, but he’d better stay out of my way, and not play with my toys without asking.

On the third day of Christmas, Martha gave to me, three sprigs of catnip.

             Boy! Do I love this stuff!  She can just forget about the rest of the presents if she wants, just bring on the catnip!   Boy, oh, Bobby!  I like to bite it, then roll in it on the floor so that my fur smells real nice all day!

On the fourth day of Christmas, Martha gave to me, four calico mice.

             And they don’t even have any catnip in them.  I hope she doesn’t REALLY think that I would think these might be mice.  Mice have fur and run around.  They don’t just lay there until I throw them into the air.  They aren’t even very pretty.  I like artistic fabric.  But then again, it is KINDA fun to throw them in the air and at my “little brother”!

On the fifth day of Christmas, Martha gave to me, five wisps of fabric.

                Well, I THINK she meant for me to have them.  They were just lying there on the table and she has so much fabric, that she will never miss them.  I think I’ll save them in my own stash, and maybe get some more later!

On the sixth day of Christmas, Martha gave to me, six bits of string.

               I have to have something to sew those pieces together!

On the seventh day of Christmas, Martha gave to me, seven kitty treats.

               With all this quilting and Christmas stuff, I need a little extra sustenance, sometimes.

On the eighth day of Christmas, Martha gave to me, eight little feathers.

               Sometimes, humans seem to think that cats like to have their noses tickled by the outer coverings of birds.  Sorry, it’s the birds we like!

On the ninth day of Christmas, Martha gave to me, nine little beads on a string.

              They spelled out my name in big letters and there was an extra one with a little heart on it.  They fit right around my neck, and weren’t too heavy.  I could get out of them if I wanted to.

On the tenth day of Christmas, Martha gave to me, ten little ice cubes.

              I really like to play with ice cubes.  I like to bat them around on the floor, and then catch them and bite them between my teeth and carry them into the bedroom and play with them on Martha’s bed.  Somehow, though, they always disappear.  I’ve tried to watch them to see where they go, but I can’t quite figure it out.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Martha gave to me, eleven minutes of her time.

             I got eleven minutes with Martha without the telephone, or the TV, or that other cat jumping up to get in the way.  Just me and her, together.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Martha gave to me, twelve happy birdies.

              I’m sure that the birdies weren’t nearly as happy as I was, but I really love to look out at my bird feeder and watch them eating happily, knowing that I’m safely inside and out of reach.  Some things are just better left out of reach.  Besides, I would have to get through all those feathers!

Merry Christmas to all my friends.

   Billy Bob has Passed on after 17 human years of happy quilting.  This page will remain by customer request.